By Kerry Smith
We received an email from our friend Kerry Smith who has been writing for the National Pain Report for the past year or so. The email talked about his frustration with his pain clinic and his plans for the next month—they aren’t what you think. He is allowing us to share it with you.
I was called and told not to email the nurse practitioner again. So instead of them receiving both my phone call and email from my desperation in pain, I am called by the assistant and told to not email.
Needless to say, I am in between new pain clinics.
Last week, I had intense migraines starting the week and by the end of the week, the pain had moved to my neck and I will be a son of a b—- if I don’t have cervical spine issues.
Freaking Cervical Pain!!!
When I had my CT scan last November, it covered both my cervical and lumbar spine. The pain however has been in my lumbar spine until last week. I have had to beg to find someone to give me a nerve block and I am in such pain I can’t see through crap. So the CT scan was read on Tuesday by my neurosurgeon and what it showed was that my cervical discs above and below my two fusions have considerable deterioration and are breaking down. The migraines were a foretaste as to what was going on in my neck and today I am sitting here in a neck brace, a lumbar brace, and I am waiting for someone, anyone, to give me a nerve block and help me with my pain.
I am going to see if I can get some Jack Daniels.
So like many of you, I’ve been suffering.
However, that’s not all I’m doing.
In May I am going on a bear hunt. That’s right, a bear hunt. Not just any bear hunt mind you; an Alaskan Brown Bear hunt. That’s where the big ass bears grow like 9-10 feet tall. I am going to sit in a tree stand and overlook the migration paths where huge males are going from hibernation to the moose calving grounds. The number of moose are on a slow decline due to the number of Brown males that will kill a calf during birth, sometimes killing the mom as well.
Also the big males or boars as they are called, are looking to breed and given the opportunity, they will kill cubs in order to force the females into heat again so they can breed them. Damn nature is just tough. The state of Alaska works with an outfitter that I am hunting with and they have pinpointed this place as needing management because, well, you just can’t go up and negotiate with those big suckers. They don’t shake hands really well and agree to go find something else to attack. Some of these dudes are like 20 to 25 years old, and the natives are asking for help in reducing the numbers of the male brown bears.
So yeah, bear hunting. I think there is some double entendre that is going on; see I am trying to kill that which is gnawing on me like a bear which is found in the stuff of chronic pain. I am therefore hunting a bear which given the chance would gnaw on me like the bear of chronic pain. See it, double entendre?
Anyway, I leave May 18 and return June 3 if I can stay that long. It’s going be tough but I’ll give it my best.
Assuming I survive, I’ll let you know how it went when I return in June.
Editor’s Note: Kerry Smith is a former minister, a professional artist, and has suffered with chronic pain for 14 years. He has lectured and written on the topic of chronic pain for several years. Here’s a link to his art studio website.