This year has gone by so fast.
I’ve turned around and it’s gone.
I can’t believe how fast life has gone.
I look back at all the resolutions I’ve tried to keep. The operative word is “tried.” Looking back at it, I don’t think I even tried to keep them. I know it sounds good but it just doesn’t happen. I think I had it right when I said, “I’m the idea man. Follow up isn’t my strong suit.”
So what do I do?
I’m going to list the “resolutions” that I think everyone should adopt.
If you can’t tell the last sentence was dripping with sarcasm.
A few years ago I wrote that I resolved to be more accepting of me. I knew that I’d have bad days and good days but this is a chronic illness that has no cure. Ok….I get that. Time took care of part of that. Accepting of me? Has or will that ever happen? Probably not. I’m not very accepting when the voodoo pain hits. I’m not real accepting when the pain drags out for days on end. I’m not real accepting when I see commercials for the lousy drugs that haven’t done much for fibromyalgia pain but have side effects like weight gain. For me, that is a side effect that negates any benefit whatsoever. So am I accepting? Not when I look in a mirror….yeah, I really do miss my neck.
I know….that’s not a fibro thing. That’s an age thing.
Golden years my fanny………
The one that really makes me laugh is the resolution that I would check my attitude at the door when the pain gets overwhelming. Oh yeah…..that WILL NEVER happen. What was I thinking??? Attitude in the toilet is the only outlet I have when the pain doesn’t stop. If I didn’t have sarcasm I wouldn’t know what to do! Has anyone EVER been sweet and nice when pain is stabbing at your body like the little voodoo doll it’s named after? Me either.
Then I always resolve to be kinder to my body. You know…if you push you will pay. Well, I always push because I never know what the day will bring. If I didn’t push I wouldn’t do anything. So I guess I will have to learn to pay.
The one thing I can do is remember that it could be a whole lot worse. I know that doesn’t mean much to people who feel like they’re at the end of their rope. It’s hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel when you’re really deep in that tunnel. I am not trying to minimize what chronic pain can do. It can bring a truly strong spirit down to their knees. What I’m trying to say is to hold on with both hands and know that it will get better. Pain does change you but we need to stay strong and fight those changes.
What I’ve realized is that I never really appreciated all the good days before Fibromyalgia became a constant in my life. Maybe that’s why I push on my good days. I do appreciate them and since they are few and far between I tend to make the most of them. It’s interesting that people think we have a low tolerance for pain. Nothing could be farther from the truth. I can tolerate pain and I tolerate it on a daily basis. The levels make all the difference but the pain is never truly gone. Most of the people I’ve talked to feel the same way. We’re not wimps. So it comes down to the difference between pain tolerance and pain thresholds. I have a very low pain threshold but my tolerance is very high. Pain tolerance is about the levels of pain that a person can take before breaking down physically or emotionally. Pain threshold is the point that the stimulus is perceived as pain.
So, am I making resolutions this year?
I never keep them anyway.
It’s too bad I can’t write Dear Abby.
Then there would be more advice….
I could ignore.
I wish for a happy, healthy and prosperous New Year…
for you all.
Editor’s Note: Rosemary Lee is a writer who lives in Las Vegas and suffers from fibromyalgia. She writes for the National Pain Report. To see more of her work visit her blog (here).