My Story: Good Morning Fibromyalgia!

My Story: Good Morning Fibromyalgia!


I feel like crap.

I need caffeine.

It started out bad.

It didn’t get better as the day went on.

The prognosis isn’t good for the rest of the evening.

Let me give you a little overview of the day. I don’t know why I’m constantly surprised when I put my feet on the floor in the morning and my body feels like I’ve been beaten with a baseball bat. I’m used to the stiffness that doesn’t go away until mid-morning; I can deal with that. What’s difficult to deal with is the pain that has velcroed itself to my body and refuses to let up. So, as I hobble to the kitchen to make a concoction that kind of resembles coffee, I remember that I left my thyroid medication by the bed. I try to take it first thing in the morning because if I don’t, I’ll forget. So I hobble back to get the medication. Unfortunately, my dog has gotten up and he wants to be outdoors. So I turn around and as I walk on the lead weights that are my legs mouthing “ow” with every other breath, I put Buster outside and then start my trek back to the kitchen.

Crap.

I forgot the fricking medication AGAIN.

Screw it. I’ll take it later.

I’ll live to regret those words.

So I start my coffee (and I use the term loosely) and get the non-fat creamer, three Sweet and Low and sugar free chocolate syrup so that it will resemble light brown milk. My daughter visibly shudders when she watches me make coffee! Even the people at Starbucks can’t believe what they hear when I order.  Did I mention that my hands also hurt? As I get the cream out of the refrigerator it slips out of my hands and suddenly, splat! Yep, I’ve got cream all over the floor. Fortunately, Buster comes in the kitchen looking like he hit the lottery and at this point I let him start to lick the mess up off the floor. Then I remember that he doesn’t digest milk well, so I know I’ll pay for this later if I let him continue. I give up and throw the whole roll of paper towels on the floor and wipe up the cream.  At this point, I don’t even want the coffee anymore. I head back to the fridge and get a diet coke. I need the caffeine.

Rosemary Lee

Rosemary Lee

I figure I’ll go to the gym. I don’t know why I do it. Everything I read says I need the movement and that it will help with the pain. If anyone says that to me today my answer will be, “bite me.” I’m wiped out after I walk and I come home and go to sleep.  Now let me explain the trip to the gym.

I get in the car and pull out of the garage. Then I look down and I pull back into the garage. I go inside and get my phone and the gym bag. I can’t remember anything today! Okay, I’m ready to go now. I get ready to pull the car out of the garage again and ……..no, I’m not. I have to take my pain medication otherwise I won’t be able to walk. If I don’t take it before I get there it won’t kick in. Great. So I pull back in the garage, nearly forget to put the car in park, go inside and take the pain medication. I hobble back to the garage……

NOW I’m ready to go.


By the time I get to the gym I’m exhausted. I just want to go home and put the covers over my head. Maybe I just should have stayed in bed today. It isn’t looking good so far but, I keep going and make to to the gym and walk. By the time I hit 3 miles I’m crying. Maybe I should just go home. 


I hate looking at women older than I am who are practically running. I am so envious of people that can walk without pain. As I walk I realize how much I took for granted. I took my health for granted, my body and my work for granted. I just wish I could go back a couple of years before the accident. It’s very sobering and depressing to realize that you can NEVER go back.  But, I hobble on……

I get home and get back into bed and put the pillows around my head and that is where I have been all day and night. It’s just one of those days where my mood has gotten worse with every passing hour. It’s so frustrating to forget everything. I tried using the weekly pill dispenser but I forget to fill it and even when I do remember to fill it, I forget to use it. I even put it in my calendar on my phone but I forget to look at it. 

Maybe I should take a bath.

A couple of hours in the tub should shake off this mood.

Nope.

If I could sleep I’d say tomorrow will be a better day.

But I probably won’t sleep either.

By the way, I forgot to take my thyroid medication today.

Did anyone get the license plate of that truck that hit me?

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Authored by: Rosemary Lee

There are 11 comments for this article
  1. April at 5:13 am

    I really know where you come from. I have lost many friends because I am no longer very social due to pain, anxiety, and depression.. The friends I have left
    Are tried and true. Luckily I have a husband who is patient. My children are wonderful but have their own lives so I don’t complain to them they know I have fibromyalgia but don’t want to talk about. I have other family, siblings but never did have any support from them. Do you have insurance? There are many pain clinics around that take insurance..they can also refer you to a psychologist/ psychiatrist where I got melds for my anxiety and depression. Go to iTunes, type in guided imagery and choose one that brings you comfort. Listen to it several times a day and that will also help you. Stay positive and reach out for help. Help others in a church or organization, a neighbor who you can help. Let me know how you are doing.

  2. Gina Campbell at 1:56 pm

    I am sitting in bed, where I have been for days. I am exhausted and in agony. Fibromyalgia is slowly killing me. I have no medical support, no friends and no family that can help me. I can no longer work, cook, clean and only leave the house to go to hospital appts. I hurt everywhere, all the time. I am only 53.

  3. April at 7:19 pm

    I have fibromyalgia, neuropathy in my feet (am not diabetic), depression and anxiety. Am exhausted, want to sleep all day, increasingly forgetful. Yet to look at me, although I have aged terribly in the last 5 years, you would not think anything is wrong with me. That is, until I try to get up to walk and then it’s like “poor dear…” It’s almost like there has to be something visibly wrong for friends, family, doctors to admit that something is wrong. The worst thing is I have recently lost my pain management Doctor that I have had for many years, understood me, had me on a good pain regiment. Now I have to find one who may or may not follow the same regiment due to all of the opioids. Big fear for me. Any suggestions?

  4. Brenda R at 3:50 pm

    I also suffer from fibromyalgia, arthritis, osteoporosis and degenerative disc disease, I’m also raising my two youngest grandkids by myself, I work a full-time job. The struggle every morning to get us all up and ready for work/daycare is enormous, then work eight hours, pick kids up, fix dinner, homework, baths, and all the everyday stuff that goes with it. I’m 62. Every day at work I struggle to keep up and try to remember things. I feel like I’ve been run over by a bus every day, who ever said these are the golden years NEVER suffered from chronic pain. Energy? I can’t remember what that means…. probably caused by the brain fog.

  5. Lisa at 6:13 pm

    Thank you so much, for this article. I read so much of my everyday experiences, in your words. I have Fibromyalgia and diabetic nerve pain. Between the two, I can barely walk, and it is getting worse daily. I just turned 50, how to live through this, especially with an 8 year old. She is missing the best part of her mom. Others say that I am lazy, as no one can see a problem with me. Hang in there. I hope that you find what you need, to get through this.

  6. Debbie D at 8:22 pm

    I want to thank all of you for sharing. I have fibro also and I thought the brain fog and forgetfulness was me losing my mind. I’ve been on every medication available. Most don’t work or I’m alergic to it.my narcotic pain meds pretty much get me thru the day. I’ve moved from Oregon to Arizona because the warm air feels better. Now I’m having issues getting the meds I’ve been taking for years. I do not wish this on my worst enemy. Thank you for sharing because now I realize I’m not alone.

  7. Kristi at 6:30 pm

    Have you all had your Vit. D levels checked? That becomes a valuable vitamin to take when enduring chronic conditions such as Fibromyalgia. I would also recommend to check your adrenal glands by having a cortisol level done. Also it wouldn’t hurt to check your Vit B labs to see how those results are. Some people end up needing Vit B12 injections. Magnesium can help with the leg cramps or any type of restlessness with your muscles. That would be my recommendation as I suffer from a genetic disease and an autoimmune disease. These diseases will deplete these vitamins from your body. Also get your thyroid levels checked!

  8. Brian at 9:54 pm

    Rosemary, You’re not alone. My life is much the same. I spent May through August laying on the bed all day, sleeping through the whole darned summer. And I’m normally almost hyperactive. When the pain wasn’t too bad, the fatigue was devastating. I’m sorry for what you’re going through.

    Well, remember John Wayne? We gotta get the wagons in a circle. The Hell with the cavalry, they ain’t comin’. We gotta roll up our sleeves and fight this one for ourselves!
    Light and love Everyone!

    PS Janet K, I would really like to hear more about the treatment that sent your Fibro into remission. I’ve read so many “try this.. diet.. exercise” from people who don’t have Fibro. I’d love to hear your story.

  9. Janet Komanchuk at 7:12 pm

    Rosemary, Your story takes me back to those horrid days of Fibromyalgia, the days and nights when fibro permeated every fiber of my being, when every activity and every thought was a struggle.

    It took me years of searching, countless treatments, medications, therapists and specialists. before I finally found the help that I so desperately needed. My Fibromyalgia has been in remission and I have been both pain and prescription free for nearly 15 years. Never give up.
    Keep hope alive. Continue to research and trust your intuition to guide you to whatever works for you. Don’t overlook alternative and complementary methods in addition to the medical.

  10. Carolyn Sanchez at 9:31 am

    I totally understand hun, I’m the same way. I hope and pray for everyone having fibromyalgia to be blessed with less pain and more energy. It’s a struggle every single day for us. I’ve been with fibromyalgia since 1978. I worked im the medical profession for 16 years and I had to give up my job due to fibromyalgia and osteoarthritis in 2010. I couldn’t get up anymore to go, too tired to drive to work. Forgetting how to get there and back home. Forgetting what I needed to do. Confused about everything daily. I totally feel for you and may your days be blessed with God’s love and merciful blessings. Thank you for your story.

  11. Jackie T. at 8:54 am

    I can identify with all of this. I suffer from fibromyalgia, rheumatoid arthritis, degenerative disc disease, ankylosiing spondylitis, etc. Plus I’m also a caregiver to my husband. I can identify with the brain fog, the pain, the exhaustion, the dragging around. I ran out of tramadol so now I am really hurting.